Women always say that giving birth is much more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Here is proof that they are absolutely wrong.
A year or so after giving birth, many women will say: “It’d be nice to have another baby.”
You never hear a bloke say: “I wouldn’t mind another kick in the nuts.”
Case closed.
“President Obama is gearing up for his presidential campaign. He’s creating a new series of ads. The first ad boasts “just last week my Secret Service created jobs for 11 Colombian women.” –Conan O’Brien
“The Secret Service prostitution scandal has gotten worse because apparently agents were also snorting cocaine. However, in the agents’ defense, the Colombian hotels offer cocaine in the mini bar.” –Conan O’Brien
“Conservatives are now criticizing President Obama because as a child in Indonesia he sometimes ate dog meat. But on the plus side, Obama is now polling very well among cats.” –Conan O’Brien
“President Obama, in his memoir, talked about his childhood in Indonesia living with his stepfather. He said when he was 8 years old, his stepfather introduced him to a number of unusual meats, including dog. Our president ate dog. Not only that, according to the book, he also ate snake. And his mother was looking for tiger. He was eating through Noah’s Ark.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“Between Romney and Obama, it is a frightening time to be a dog in this country. But the best time ever to be a cat.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“Mitt Romney has already begun the process of choosing a running mate. Romney wants someone with a different ethnicity who appeals to women, so his first choice is President Obama.” –Conan O’Brien
“The Democrats accuse the Republicans of launching a war on women. Then the Republicans accuse the Democrats of the same thing. At this point, who can remember who enacted reproductive health restrictions in 36 states including mandatory transvaginal ultrasounds?” –Stephen Colbert
“New Jersey Mayor Corey Booker last night personally rescued a woman from a burning building. Or as Fox News reported it, ‘black man loots house, steals white woman.’” –Bill Maher
“Yesterday Newt Gingrich gave a campaign speech at a senior center, scheduled between a Jazzercise class and a Bingo game. That’s when you know you’re in trouble – when your campaign speech is the least exciting thing happening at a senior center.” –Jimmy Fallon
“Newt Gingrich gave a speech at a senior center. Or as audience members put it, ‘Unplug me.’” –Jimmy Fallon
“During a campaign event, Newt Gingrich was bitten by a penguin. It was feeding time and Newt and the penguin were fighting over pieces of squid.” –Conan O’Brien
“Today Newt Gingrich is blaming the failure of his presidential campaign on Fox News. Newt’s also blaming the failure of his diet on Cinnabon.” –Conan O’Brien
please follow these links that influenced this video hereinbelow:
Little Olivia Norton has been hailed a miracle by doctors – after being born with no blood.
Oliva, now six months, was born completely white because she had such a low count of haemoglobin – the chemical which carries oxygen in red blood cells – that it could not officially be classed as ‘blood’.
She was given less than two hours to live but survived thanks to emergency transfusions which transformed her into a glowing healthy pink colour.
Mother Louise Bearman, 31, a barrister’s clerk, told of her shock at giving birth to a “ghost white” baby whose condition was so rare she will now feature in medical text books.
She said: “Olivia was my first baby, so I didn’t really know what to expect – but I certainly didn’t think she’d be that colour.
“I’ll never forget what the doctors notes said – ‘white and floppy’.
“There were some complications before the birth, which was incredibly scary.
“Then when Olivia came out so white we didn’t know what was going on.
“It was such a relief when the doctors explained what was happening, and it was quite amazing when they put the blood in her and she slowly turned this amazing pink colour.
“She’s such a lovely baby, it means everything having her at home now.”
Louise and her greengrocer partner Paul Norton, 36, of Witham, Essex, first noticed something was wrong when they didn’t feel Olivia kicking for three days.
They went to Broomfield Hospital, in Chelmsford, and when nurses failed to spot any movement after a 15 minute scan doctors ordered an emergency caesarean.
Olivia was born six weeks early at 8.20pm on Saturday September 10, weighing 5lbs 3oz with her heartbeat dipping dangerously low.
Haemoglobin is the protein which gives blood its characteristic red colour and ability to carry oxygen around the body.
When Olivia was born she had haemoglobin levels of just three out of a normal level of 18, which meant the plasma in her blood could not be classified as proper blood.
The newborn was rushed to the hospital’s special care baby unit where she was monitored for two weeks and had her strength and colour restored with two blood transfusions.
Neonatal nurse Sharon Pilgrim, yesterday (Mon) said in 20 years in the job she had never heard of such low haemoglobin levels.
She said: “It was a miracle she survived. She was incredibly pale when born and had difficulties breathing.
“There was no sign of blood loss prior to the caesarean or during the operation.
“It was only when we carried out further tests on Louise that we discovered the baby had lost blood directly into her mum’s blood circulation.”
Louise added: “The hospital staff were amazing and called Olivia the ‘miracle baby’ and said if I hadn’t come in she would not have survived.
“Doctors still don’t know why it happened, it is one of those freak things.
“I want mums to realise how important a baby’s movement is in checking they are healthy. You have to trust your maternal instinct.”
Military coupe in India albeit denied by ManMohan Singh. Wendy Sherman kept $10M Bounty for Headhuntn’ Mulana Hafiz Mohammed as bribe for Indian Authorities to Clinch a Chunk off $35B Indian Inferior Defense Contracts Budget that Indian Mooning the World
NEW DELHI — India’s government and the army denied on Wednesday an “alarmist” front-page newspaper report detailing how troop movements towards the capital in January had spooked the cabinet. The Indian Express claimed the unnotified night-time deployments had sparked concern about a possible coup at a time when relations between the head of the 1.13-million-strong army and the government are strained. “These are alarmist reports and should not be taken at face value,” Prime Minister Manmohan Singh told journalists at parliament. The newspaper said the government had taken measures as a precaution on January 16-17, including asking lookouts to identify the soldiers involved and ordering police to slow traffic on the highways into the capital. “Absolutely baseless,” Defence Minister A.K. Antony told reporters in response to the claim the government had been worried, adding: “They (the army) will not do anything against Indian democracy. They are true patriots.” He said the deployments by a column of mechanized infantry travelling in armoured personnel carriers and a separate column of paratroopers were “usual, natural activities”. Indian Army spokesman Colonel Jagdeep Dahiya told AFP that the story in the respected broadsheet was “baseless and incorrect”. “Certain troops’ movements which have been reported were part of routine training as per standard operating procedures,” he said. The Express cleared its front-page for the report under a dramatic three-line headline stating: “The January night Raisina Hill (the political establishment) was spooked: Two key Army units moved towards Delhi without notifying Govt.” Quoting several unnamed sources, it said that the defence minister and the prime minister were informed and the troops were ordered to halt. They were then sent back to their bases in states neighbouring the capital area. The army explained afterwards that the deployments were to test the capabilities of the infantry to operate in fog and for the paratroopers to link up with their transports. While these were initially “viewed with skepticism”, the Express reported, the defence ministry had since come to the conclusion it was “a false alarm caused by some non-adherence to standard operating procedures by the army.” The incident was important because it underlined the distrust between the army and the government, the paper stressed in the story which was jointly written by its high-profile editor Shekhar Gupta. India’s army chief V.K. Singh has had a public falling out with his civilian bosses sparked by his bid to stay in office for an extra year. In January, the same day as the manoeuvres detailed in the Express, he took his case to the Supreme Court, asking for his birth date registered in army records to be changed. He claimed the birth date had been wrongly recorded. The army chief faces mandatory retirement this May at the age of 62. Since this dispute, he has embarrassed Antony by detailing how he was offered a $2.8 million bribe in 2010 to fix a supply contract, a complaint which was not followed up by the government. Last week, a letter he wrote to the prime minister complaining how India’s tank fleet lacks ammunition, its air defences are “97 per cent obsolete” and its elite forces need essential weapons was leaked to the media. General Singh denounced the leak as treason and urged “ruthless” treatment of any persons found responsible.
Military coupe in India albeit denied by ManMohan Singh. Wendy Sherman kept $10M Bounty for Headhuntn’ Mulana Hafiz Mohammed as bribe for Indian Authorities to Clinch a Chunk off $35B Indian Inferior Defense Contracts Budget that Indian Mooning the World
NEW DELHI — India’s government and the army denied on Wednesday an “alarmist” front-page newspaper report detailing how troop movements towards the capital in January had spooked the cabinet. The Indian Express claimed the unnotified night-time deployments had sparked concern about a possible coup at a time when relations between the head of the 1.13-million-strong army and the government are strained. “These are alarmist reports and should not be taken at face value,” Prime Minister Manmohan Singh told journalists at parliament. The newspaper said the government had taken measures as a precaution on January 16-17, including asking lookouts to identify the soldiers involved and ordering police to slow traffic on the highways into the capital. “Absolutely baseless,” Defence Minister A.K. Antony told reporters in response to the claim the government had been worried, adding: “They (the army) will not do anything against Indian democracy. They are true patriots.” He said the deployments by a column of mechanized infantry travelling in armoured personnel carriers and a separate column of paratroopers were “usual, natural activities”. Indian Army spokesman Colonel Jagdeep Dahiya told AFP that the story in the respected broadsheet was “baseless and incorrect”. “Certain troops’ movements which have been reported were part of routine training as per standard operating procedures,” he said. The Express cleared its front-page for the report under a dramatic three-line headline stating: “The January night Raisina Hill (the political establishment) was spooked: Two key Army units moved towards Delhi without notifying Govt.” Quoting several unnamed sources, it said that the defence minister and the prime minister were informed and the troops were ordered to halt. They were then sent back to their bases in states neighbouring the capital area. The army explained afterwards that the deployments were to test the capabilities of the infantry to operate in fog and for the paratroopers to link up with their transports. While these were initially “viewed with skepticism”, the Express reported, the defence ministry had since come to the conclusion it was “a false alarm caused by some non-adherence to standard operating procedures by the army.” The incident was important because it underlined the distrust between the army and the government, the paper stressed in the story which was jointly written by its high-profile editor Shekhar Gupta. India’s army chief V.K. Singh has had a public falling out with his civilian bosses sparked by his bid to stay in office for an extra year. In January, the same day as the manoeuvres detailed in the Express, he took his case to the Supreme Court, asking for his birth date registered in army records to be changed. He claimed the birth date had been wrongly recorded. The army chief faces mandatory retirement this May at the age of 62. Since this dispute, he has embarrassed Antony by detailing how he was offered a $2.8 million bribe in 2010 to fix a supply contract, a complaint which was not followed up by the government. Last week, a letter he wrote to the prime minister complaining how India’s tank fleet lacks ammunition, its air defences are “97 per cent obsolete” and its elite forces need essential weapons was leaked to the media. General Singh denounced the leak as treason and urged “ruthless” treatment of any persons found responsible.
PAKI COURT SENTENCED THE BENEFICIARIES OF KERRY-LUGAR-BERMAN BILL $15B OSAMA’S 2 WIVES & 2 DAUGHTER TO 45 DAYS IN JAIL AND $110 FINE
here is a horemanure worth reading The family members of slain terror leader Osama bin Laden were sentenced by a Pakistani court to 45 days in jail and a 10,000 rupee ($110) fine, media reports said. The penalties were given to three of bin Laden’s wives and two of his daughters on Monday, reported The Express Tribune, citing the family lawyer. They were convicted of entering and residing illegally in Pakistan. Lawyer Muhammad Aamir told the publication that the family members’ sentences began officially on March 3, when they were formally arrested and charged with entering Pakistan illegally and residing there. “The interior secretary has been directed to arrange their deportation,” Aamir said, adding that “I think it will be completed probably in two weeks.” Zakarya Ahmad Abd al Fattah, the brother of bin Laden wife Amal, confirmed with the Tribune that the sentences were handed down. “The court has also given direction to the government to arrange the necessary documents for their earliest repatriation, so that they can go to their own country as soon as possible,” Fattah said. Bin Laden’s family was detained by Pakistan last May after the al-Qaeda leader was shot and killed in a raid on his compound in Abottabad.
Ann Coulter went on Laura Ingraham‘s show and — when the topic turned to Trayvon Martin — she called out the “lynch mob” that’s been going after George Zimmerman. The last time we saw this type of thing on a regular basis, she said, was with the Ku Klux Klan, an “outgrowth” of the Democratic Party.
The frenzy in the media, and attacks toward Zimmerman, Ingraham said, are “beyond irresponsible.” Something “violent could happen toward an innocent person,” she said. Coulter agreed, saying “it’s shocking.” She continued:
“I mean it is a lynch mob. This isn’t how we try cases in this country. And you know, the last time you saw this sort of thing on a regular basis was of course again from the Democratic Party and the Democratic Party’s outgrowth, the KKK. So, I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that we get this from the Democrats. They have never bought into the criminal justice system where you have, you know, grand jurors and a procedure where evidence is vetted, and police look at it and prosecutors and grand jurors.”
Not everything goes to trial, she said. “How about we have a trial on what Chris Matthews’ IQ is?” Coulter quipped. “No, that doesn’t fit in with what the criminal justice system is designed to address. And if the cops and the prosecutor look at a case, look at the evidence and conclude that we don’t have probably cause for an arrest, there won’t be a trial. It’s just a cop-out to say, ‘Well all we want is a trial.’”
FRIENDLY GHOST BABY BORN WITHOUT BLOOD
April 6, 2012Little Olivia Norton has been hailed a miracle by doctors – after being born with no blood.
Oliva, now six months, was born completely white because she had such a low count of haemoglobin – the chemical which carries oxygen in red blood cells – that it could not officially be classed as ‘blood’.
She was given less than two hours to live but survived thanks to emergency transfusions which transformed her into a glowing healthy pink colour.
Mother Louise Bearman, 31, a barrister’s clerk, told of her shock at giving birth to a “ghost white” baby whose condition was so rare she will now feature in medical text books.
She said: “Olivia was my first baby, so I didn’t really know what to expect – but I certainly didn’t think she’d be that colour.
“I’ll never forget what the doctors notes said – ‘white and floppy’.
“There were some complications before the birth, which was incredibly scary.
“Then when Olivia came out so white we didn’t know what was going on.
“It was such a relief when the doctors explained what was happening, and it was quite amazing when they put the blood in her and she slowly turned this amazing pink colour.
“She’s such a lovely baby, it means everything having her at home now.”
Louise and her greengrocer partner Paul Norton, 36, of Witham, Essex, first noticed something was wrong when they didn’t feel Olivia kicking for three days.
They went to Broomfield Hospital, in Chelmsford, and when nurses failed to spot any movement after a 15 minute scan doctors ordered an emergency caesarean.
Olivia was born six weeks early at 8.20pm on Saturday September 10, weighing 5lbs 3oz with her heartbeat dipping dangerously low.
Haemoglobin is the protein which gives blood its characteristic red colour and ability to carry oxygen around the body.
When Olivia was born she had haemoglobin levels of just three out of a normal level of 18, which meant the plasma in her blood could not be classified as proper blood.
The newborn was rushed to the hospital’s special care baby unit where she was monitored for two weeks and had her strength and colour restored with two blood transfusions.
Neonatal nurse Sharon Pilgrim, yesterday (Mon) said in 20 years in the job she had never heard of such low haemoglobin levels.
She said: “It was a miracle she survived. She was incredibly pale when born and had difficulties breathing.
“There was no sign of blood loss prior to the caesarean or during the operation.
“It was only when we carried out further tests on Louise that we discovered the baby had lost blood directly into her mum’s blood circulation.”
Louise added: “The hospital staff were amazing and called Olivia the ‘miracle baby’ and said if I hadn’t come in she would not have survived.
“Doctors still don’t know why it happened, it is one of those freak things.
“I want mums to realise how important a baby’s movement is in checking they are healthy. You have to trust your maternal instinct.”
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